A course is a course, of course unless of course it’s the inclusive community mini-course

(and a movie at the Bourse with a tad of remorse straight from the source)

I arrived in Philadelphia after 11p and headed over to Avis. Snow was coming down and the wind was picking up. The line in Avis was long and there were only two agents working. Each person seemed to take a long time. I watched a CNN special on Islam in London on the overhead TV. Part of it focused on the new Masjid that is being built and that is causing a stir because of both its size and its visibility from the upcoming Olympics site. It will be a magnificently stunning and seemingly unique structure unlike any mosque I have ever seen. A completely modern building it evokes a sand swept landscape and a graceful fluidity.

Finally, I was helped and the car is pulled around and I open the door and there is a good inch of snow covering the driver’s seat and more powder on the inside door, floor and steering wheel. It was as if Frosty, the Snowman was the previous driver. The woman rolled her eyes when I asked for another car as if she doesn’t believe or that I am complaining about some random flake. I waited for over a half hour for a second car to be brought around. There was no apology, concern or explanation. Avis cares?

I arrived at the Latham, a small business hotel in Center City, Philadelphia that is very reasonable and has nice rooms after midnight. Still snowing the next day I made the long drive to Wyncote to teach rabbinical students about creating inclusive communities for GLBT people. This is a mandated minicourse for all students.

When I was at RRC (Reconstructionist Rabbinical College) I was surprised at both how welcoming it was to GLBT students and how so many things still needed to be addressed, including some homophobia in the student body, heterosexist policies and ways to provide support for GLBT students. Shortly after the decision of allowing GLBT applicants, students formed a group called “What Now?” These students hailed the decision but pointed out that the school had done no planning about how to meet the needs of these students. An active group, it began to raise important questions and then it fizzled.

Entering RRC, it was apparent that some of their questions were not fully answered. In fact, the lesbians who took me under their wings (to whom I am indebted to and grateful for) told me that I should not pursue the congregational rabbinate since there was a dearth of jobs where one can be out. I had the dean my sophomore year tell me that I had to choose if I was going to be out at my Hillel interview if I had any hopes of being out at my placement. He explained that he did not want me jeopardizing the Hillel internships for all students by coming out at my placement and causing a stir. I asked if he knew whether if I was out if I would even be hired at all. He did not know. Being a bit more confrontational then than now, I asked him why not? “Did he expect me to put myself in a very uncomfortable situation without some understanding of the outcome? Was I the only student that might be in this position? Shouldn’t he as the dean ask these questions on behalf of all students?” (The man himself has now come out.)

He did indeed have the conversation and was told that it was unnecessary for a student to come out in an interview, but s/he should come out to the supervisor and they would plan how to do that together. She also explained to him that the only placement that would be difficult for a student to be out at was at the University of Penn who had a very strong orthodox presence. Hoping for Haverford/Swarthmore Hillel, I was curiously placed at U Penn. There I was asked to run the soup kitchen which involved almost no rabbinic skill since my role was to open the building, cook the food and clean up with very little interaction with residents and minimal interaction with students. While I liked the work, I felt I was being hidden away. Eventually I started a Social Justice and Talmud class an hour before the kitchen opened for any of the volunteers who were interested.

This prompted me to start a new group almost 10 years later: “What Next?” We looked at policies and issues that came up and our primary achievement was a minicourse that worked with students to examine these issues within themselves and prepare students to address the issues of GLBT people in their synagogues. The allies in our group felt this course needed to be mandatory and it was the first (and possibly the only) course that was voted on by the student body to ensure that it was part of the required curriculum.

I used to teach the class after I graduated but passed it off after 4 years. This year I was asked to teach because my replacement had to be in Israel for Birthright with students. I wonder how relevant the class is today. We include much more information about transgendered folks than we did in the beginning and after the first year of teaching it, Linda my co teacher and I made it much more practically oriented so that they have homework were they flesh out scenarios that will be likely in their jobs by writing sermons, outlines, newsletter articles, letter to the editors, public speeches and action plans. We also have them work with texts and do teaching.

While I enjoyed teaching this group of students and working with Linda who is a great rabbi and friend, I think that students would be better off taking a class that was larger in scope around creating inclusive communities for many kinds of folk. But even more so, I think a course that guided them in how to facilitate difficult discussion, gave tools on conflict resolution and mediation skills would be much more helpful and GLBT people’s issues could be an example of issues to discuss and work around.

The first day was a bit more scattered than I would have like due to some administrative misunderstandings, but I really liked this group of students. They were so thoughtful, smart and engaged, except 2 or 3 who had a bit of an attitude. I have a fair amount of patience for that because I believe it is just karma for the attitude I must have had when I was a student.

Monday afternoon, I had a late lunch with Julie Pfau from CBH who was working on her semester finals. She seemed to be doing well and it was nice to catch up. (Hey, Julie! If you are reading this!) I love the work she is doing for Clinical Pastoral Education. That night I saw Pan’s Labyrinth at the Ritz at the Bourse. Going there was sad as I had many memories of friends I am no longer in touch with and time spent with Harris. It was another marker of how time marches forward. The movie also was lyrical and deeply sad too/, but with fantastical moments that were delightful.

Tuesday, the class did incredible work and I was able to connect with two lesbian students who are going to be great rabbis. One is at CBST, where I worked and the other is working at an interesting mainstream pulpit. It was nice that they sought me out to have lunch and it was great to make these connections with colleagues I did not know.

That night I had dinner at my favorite restaurant Buddakan with my friend Jim who is going back to school to get his bachelor’s. I am very proud of him.

Well, I am on the plane back to Denver. Hopefully, if the USA Today is correct I am in for a few days of 40 degree weather, which means MELTING!!!