Graetz-ified

My timing was off. I had not fully recovered from my root canal, where my dentist was thorough but slow. They had me in the chair for over 3 hours with the root canal and the crown prep. By the end, I was wishing my mouth was wired shut. Also, I discovered that I did indeed have a penicillin allergy, which I was prescribed in preparation for the tooth drilling so I was covered in hives from head to toe.

So when I flew to Asheville less than 48 hours later, I was not feeling my best. Actually, I considered calling the Human Rights Campaign and canceling, but I didn’t. I flew Sunday AM into Charlotte and then on a prop plane to Asheville for a Safe Space conversation. I was one of three speakers to a group of clergy in the A’ville area that were in different stages of dealing with LGBT issues. Many of them were individually supportive but were unsure of how to broach these issues with their congregations.

I was told that there would be a straight couple speaking too: Robert and Jeannie Graetz. Robert was a Lutheran pastor and his wife was his partner in all his endeavors. When I arrived in Charlotte I saw an older white couple that looked like a very traditional Christian Midwestern couple. He wore a large cross and I wondered if this could be the Graetz’s but decided that as progressives no one would wear such a large cross. I was wrong.

We were picked up by another older couple the Hunts and I listened to Horace Hunt and Robert (Bob) talk. Bob mentioned he served for many years in Montgomery and Horace began to talk about bringing a group of students to M’gmery in the 50s and meeting a white Lutheran pastor of a black church. Sure enough, the only white Lutheran minister of a black church was Bob. They had met half a century ago.

Then I learned more about Bob and Jeannie’s extraordinary history! Bob and Jeannie were sent down to M’gmery to serve a Lutheran church only after promising that they would not start any trouble. Start was the operative word for them. Shortly after they arrived, the SCLC youth leader at their church was a woman (who became a close friend) by the name of Rosa Parks who refused to move from her seat. Faced with the decision to support the bus boycott that ensued, Bob said he prayed about it and came to the awareness that he could not be a good pastor if he was not involved in the actions of his parishioners. That Sunday he announced the boycott from the pulpit and told people he would be driving folks to and from work.

He and Jeannie were some of the few white faces involved in strategizing for civil rights. He worked with King, Abernathy, Rustin and other well known folks. Jeannie spoke of the three times their home was bombed and the numerous visits by the Klu Klux Klan. Bob spoke of one meeting where King said, “If you are not prepared to die for this cause please leave.” Bob said he realized that King was a target and so was he as the only white face amongst the leadership. I was riveted listening to their story.

When asked where their courage emerged, Jeannie spoke about how a good friend of theirs and someone supportive of the call to civil rights told them to leave because they would surely be killed. Their friend urged that they needed to leave just for the sake of their children. Jeannie said that nearly convinced her, but that night she asked another friend to come over and pray with her. This Methodist minister after praying responded that God was in Montgomery just as God was anywhere else and that she could stay there and be taken care of. While knowing this, she said she felt as if the Holy Spirit was speaking to her and from that moment on was committed to staying put.

They believe that they are still living because of God’s desire for them to continue their civil right’s mission. While tears fell from Bob’s eyes during many of these stories, he shed many when he spoke about his second oldest, Robert Jr. Robert, or Ray as he named himself, led them to their current ministry. Ray was their gay son who Bob and Jeannie for the longest time could not fully embrace despite their openness in the civil rights movement. I began to join him in shedding tears of my own when he described driving his eighteen year old son (they were then in Ohio) to the interstate so he could hitchhike to San Francisco where Ray felt he could be in a safe haven. Ray knew at an early age he was gay and could not find a home in his Lutheran church and while loved by his family, he felt profoundly misunderstood.

Ray became a successful fashion designer where he designed men’s clothing. Bob looked at me and asked, “ You may be too young, but do you know of a singer by the name of Sylvester?” Of course, I did. Ray had designed many of his clothes. Ray died of AIDS at 37, a few months after his grandfather died. Bob says the inheritance that his father left behind allowed virtually all of Ray’s 6 siblings and his parents to say their farewells. In taking care of his during his last days, Ray’s family eyes were opened to God’s presence in all people—including gay and lesbian folks. This became their new mission and was why they were in Asheville presenting with me. What an inspirational opportunity.

They Safe Space conversation went really well. All 3 presentations complemented each other so well. The communal worship was led by UCC minister Rev Kelly Sisson who led us in ritual and prayer to see other perspectives. She also made me jealous when she spoke of her congregation’s sanctuary doubling as a fine arts gallery and that her basement of the church was a stone carving workshop.

My presentation was an exercise and discussion about what it means to be an ally using the Hillel text of
“If I am only for myself than who will be for me? If I am only for myself than what am I? If not now, when?” This text allowed us to discuss the urgency of being an ally for LGBT people and to look earnestly at the barriers. People were forthcoming and honest. The one rabbi shared about the hate language used at his son’s high school and the beating that one of his congregants took who is a transgendered youth. The Graetzes insisted that I was an inspiration to them and I laughed. Who is the inspiration to whom?

The man who organized the event was a man who had received much publicity in the local press when he announced in a sermon that he no longer signed marriage licenses. He would officiate marriage ceremonies, but would not serve as an agent of the state.

Joe Hoffman used to live in Atlanta where he served a UCC community. Care to guess which one? Yes, Central. Hmm, all roads lead back to Central it seems.

Saying goodbye to the Graetzes was filled with hugs and promises to be in touch. I certainly hope that I get to see them again. Also, it was good to see my friend Harry Knox who is the HRC director of the Faith and Action who did his usual awesome job at facilitating the event.

I am on a much delayed flight back to Denver. The weather on the East Coast has backed everything up. We are over 3 hours delayed. But there are times that meeting history make worthwhile. It was humbling and powerful to be with the past and to support the future.